The awkward and uncomfortable way people avoid telling the truth. Observing individuals is a habit I developed while working, watching people and of course during poker games on the weekend. One noticeable thing was a player’s behavior during their hand. Observing has advantages in understanding behavior, especially if the tells are consistent.

Detecting a compulsive liar is quite simple, they have distinct tells and it’s all performative. If you’re just starting to observe this behavior, these unique identifiers will greatly enhance your understanding when encountering a truth bender.

We have all been late at one time or another; for a truth-bender, this doesn’t exactly fit their narrative. Let’s explore what their persona would be.

The Embellisher exaggerates situations to make them seem more dramatic than they are. “My keys were missing. They were in the dog’s mouth jingling, and he ran away. I caught him, but it was too late; He swallowed the keys. I had to wait until the dog pooped them out and then I dug them out of my flower bed.” 

The Drama-Mama thrives on high drama and special effects. My boyfriend’s brake line was cut on his truck. It’s impossible for me to drive my new Jeep when his brake line is cut! I don’t know who did it; we suspect the girl across the street. I really think she has it in for him. My nan got her on film. That is why I am late.”

The Delusionist is defensive when confronted with inconsistencies but sticks with there story.

Boss: “Where have you been? You are two hours late.”

Employee: “I was here all along. I was just downstairs.”

Boss: “No, no, you weren’t here. I saw you pull into the parking lot with my own eyes.”

Employee: “That’s why I was downstairs; I was here.”

Boss: “You just got out of your car!”

Employee: “Well, yeah, like I said, exactly, I was here.”

Boss: “You are two hours late.”

Employee: “No, I was here.”

The Anxious Chatterer dives into long winded conversations chock full of personal information that lacks substance.

“I understand that it is my job, but no offense, I have a lot of personal issues going on. No one seems to understand. I HAVE THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE! I can’t come in right now, but I can arrive in a few hours. I’m taking my ex to court, but I live with Mark. He may or may not drive me later—it depends. Hallie gets along well with Mark, but she is out of school today. They sent an undercover officer to speak with her at school today. No one knew about this, not even the principal. They conducted this operation to talk to Hallie while she was home from school and at school today. Mark agreed to drive me to drive me to work. Then he couldn’t.”

The Vague Voguer provides you with a vague response and dances around an answer. “I am not coming in, my phone won’t be available. There are reasons I cannot discuss.”

These personas are not fictional; they are real. Like me, some of you may have friends, family members, bosses, or even coworkers who bend the truth.

Dealing with this behavior can be time-consuming and exhausting. When you recognize their tells, it becomes easier to decide how much time and energy you want to spend with these bad actors.

To Be Continued